Writing a Best Man or Maid/Matron of Honor Speech
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Delivering a wedding toast or speech should be fun, personal and from the heart. Remember, that you will probably be on video, so start preparing yourself to be in the spot light. If you are reading this, we assume you have been chosen to deliver a toast or speech to a bride and groom. To help you get started, we have included some tips on writing and delivering a speech.
Begin by writing down thoughts about the bride and groom and your relationship to them.
• How do you know them?
• Why did they choose you as best man or maid of honor?
• How would you describe each of them? What are the first five adjectives that come to mind?
• What was the groom like before he met the bride? How has he changed knowing her?
• How did they meet? How did the bride tell you about him?
• If you are married, you may want to share marriage advice you’ve received or have learned.
• Are there any particularly amusing anecdotes that illustrate who the bride and/or groom are?
Get creative and if appropriate, use humor to capture the attention of your audience and emotion to cause them to shed a tear. You may want to organize your speech into a top 3 or top 10 list, citing the top reasons why the Bride and Groom belong together. Another fun idea is to write your speech around a bag of items that you bring, handing off each item in the bag to either the Bride or Groom as you offer advice, thoughts, or humor related to each item.
Tips to remember when preparing your speech:
• Introduce Yourself – The Bride and Groom know who you are but probably most of the audience will not.
• Express gratitude – Thank the Bride and Groom for including you and all the guests in their special day.
• Compliment the Bride – It’s the Bride’s day; make her feel extra-special.
• Appropriate content – Make sure the content of your speech is appropriate for the audience.
• Limit your time – Stay on topic and limit your time to 3-5 minutes.
• Closing line – End with a beautiful romantic quote or a heartfelt comment.
• Prepare – Practice and use notecards if needed.
Tips for the day of the wedding:
• Know how to operate the microphone and don’t be afraid to use it.
• Work with the videographer to determine the best spot to deliver your speech.
• Speak clearly.
• Deliver your speech at a good pace – not too fast, not too slow.
• Limit your alcohol consumption prior to your speech.
• Be sure to raise a glass to the couple at the end of your speech.
Especially for the Maid/Matron of Honor
Your friend or family member asked you to be her Maid/Matron of Honor because you are special to her. She is trusting you to represent this special relationship in a speech to all the other guests. Be sure to take this responsibility seriously by preparing a speech and practicing. Speak from your heart, be yourself, and don’t feel pressured to be funny or sentimental or lengthy.
Especially for the Best Man:
Similarly, the Groom chose you to be his Best Man because you are significant in his life. Whether you choose to roast the Groom with a series of funny stories and anecdotes, take a more serious approach, or combine the two, it’s important to pay tribute to the Groom and his Bride. Be yourself and make sure to deliver a speech that reflects your genuine relationship with the Groom. The Best Man speech is generally expected to be humorous. Here is just one example:
I am happy to be here tonight. When the groom wanted a Best Man, he went to the smartest man he knew. When he said no, he asked the most handsome man he knew. When he said no, he asked the most popular man he knew. And finally after being asked 3 times, I agreed.